Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Top 25 Things Every Man Needs: 23 Comfy Man Pants
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you’re gonna need a pair of comfortable man pants. That’s right, coming in at 23 on our list of The Top 25 Things a Man Needs is: comfy man pants.
Let’s face it, a large part of our day is occupied with stupid things like work, and shopping, and driving, and cleaning, and tons of other dumb ass sh**. When you add it all up, days turn into weeks, weeks months, and months years! So, when a man has a few minutes to sit down, relax, enjoy a cold one, and watch the game, he’s gotta make the most of it. And, no man wants to relax in a pair of damn-douche-bag-Gap-khakis or stupid-ass-too-tight-jeans-that-got-shrunk-in-the-wash! No belts, no buttons, no zippers, just a draw sting and sheer elastic-waist-expanding-joy!
Any man will tell you, the only real way to relax is in a pair of comfortable lounge pants. There’s no surefire method for relaxing, but any good relaxing takes place in comfy man pants. For some it’s a pair of $5 sweats, for some it’s flannel pajamas bottoms, for some it might be an old pair of track pants, or even comfortable gym shorts… however you work it, a man’s gotta relax, and he needs some comfortable pants to do so.
In contrast, a man lives for the moment the work pants come off, and the comfy pants go on. A man in sweats is a visual signpost to the rest of the world. What women don’t understand is that when a man puts on his comfy pants he is emphatically stating, “F*** off world! I’m done working for the day! Can’t you see my pants! Hello! Don’t ask me to do sh**! These pants may look like athletic pants, but, I assure you, they’re not! Am I wearing jogging shoes? Do I look like Lance Armstrong? Do I even have a shirt on? NO! Why? I’m relaxing! That’s why! Deal with it! … cause Gator don’t play no sh**!
… And the best part about comfy man pants is they save man words. A man doesn’t even have to speak, explain, or articulate his frame of mind. He can simply, silently changes his pants. Everything that needs to be said is said! Done & done.
Yep, every man needs a pair of comfy pants, and that’s why these relaxation requirements come in at number 23 out of 25 in our list of the Top 25 Things Every Man Needs.